yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
