I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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