So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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