You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
