It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
