There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
