HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
