After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
