Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
