How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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