I heard we made out
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
