fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
