cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
