we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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