What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize