yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
