i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
