we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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