They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
