You work out of a Hotel?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
