I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
