So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
