Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
