I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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