Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
