Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm really busy with my period
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