you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize