The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize