One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
