You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
