I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize