Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
no you cant smoke seaweed
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
