We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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