It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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