She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
