Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
