The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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