Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
