i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
