how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
