I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
