I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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