Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
