I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
