I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
This house was built for laser tag.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
