Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I will pee on everything he values.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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