Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
