We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
