If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
