this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
