Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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