yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
