yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
