You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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