Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
