You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
