Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
