i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
