You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
pray to the hookup gods
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
