just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I think i got beer on your cat.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
