i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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